A new attitude I will show you

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A new attitude
I will show you
I do not give a shit
I do not longer care
Your eyes spoke to me
The harshest of truths
“Run away ‘silly thing’,
For love and care
Were never felt in here”

You said you loved me
But you never showed it
You said you wanted me
But you never did
Excuses, mere excuses
To say no,
To make me wait
To actually feel loved

Eventually, I got tired
Sick and tired!
Of just hearing words
I’m giving you up
I will set a place
Just for you
Back and behind
In the darkest oblivion
Of my restless mind

Desperately I need to forget
The plans and stories
You damagingly helped create
The long hours in vain spent
Making up undoable dreams
Of an unreal future for you
That I in my naivety
Felt them believable

Even though I might
From time to time
Think about you and smile
And then unhappily sigh
And lonely wonder whether
You are fine
Never will I allow myself
To show you
That I still
Uncontrollably bleed

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