Be a friend in need
Here's a list of do's and don'ts when dealing with a friend who is trying to move on post a break-up.
A breakup is never easy, especially when you're the friend who has to witness every sob and sniff as your bestie struggles to deal with it. The frustration levels are bound to be high, more so when the same tales are narrated to you time and again. At some point, you want to shake them up and tell them, 'Enough of the drama, you're not the only one who has dealt with a break-up.' But, be patient. Instead of aggravating their misery, we suggest that you help him/her cope with the situation. Read on to know what's right and wrong on your part when dealing with a bestie's break-up.
Do's
Stand by them: She/he might call on at odd hours, making you miss a serial or a previously made plan. Do that for him/her. Remember, your friend needs you right now, and it's important that you be there.
Be the listener: You need to listen to your friend. When he/she sends stories via sms, reply in a manner that shows you care. Answer calls and let them vent it out. .
Favour them instead of the ex: Sometimes, he/she may look up to you for approval so as to trash the ex. In such a situation, do the needful without going overboard. Tell your friend how he/she deserves better and you can't believe his/her ex would have turned out this way; such statements are good bets.
Bring out their fun side: Plan fun things. Get pals who your friend will be comfortable with and throw them a little party. If possible, get a common friend who your bestie has a crush on — this will help him/her to break out of that self-created shell.
Distract them: Make sure he/she doesn't take a wrong step in desperation. If he/she is upset, be there and watch out. Make them realise that giving up is no solution.
Don'ts
Be the preacher, not: When you've got a situation that involves someone else, it's but natural to give a lecture. Your inputs are meant to be for times when he/she is healed completely, and not for now.
Don't trash-talk about the ex: You might have never liked your friend's ex, but right now, you better stay away from trashing them. Most break-ups always end up with a second chance and this one may, too. So, don't comment about things that could cause trouble among you and your friend.
Compare not: It is likely that you might have gone through a similar break-up, but this is no time for comparison or reminding your friend about your history. We know your past stories are on the tip of your tongue, but then again, save those for later.
Be a third person:
Getting involved is good, but involving yourself to an extent that it affects you negatively isn't. If your friend hasn't healed post four months of break-up or so, it's time you tell him/her to stop. Ask them to consult a shrink. Explain to them that this is emotionally unhealthy and taxing for the two of you.
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